Ceilie's Essay #14

Ceilie Moore

Mr. Salsich 

English 9

February 26th, 2009

A Brave New World

An Essay On What It Takes To Build A Civilization

A city doesn’t come out of nowhere. It has to be built, it has to be capable of supporting human beings and it has to be sturdy enough to withstand the toughest of disputes. (Parallelism) The people of the city also have to be willing to take care of it, as well as each other. With the right foundations and devotion to the town and its people, a city will be triumphantly built and run, but without the right amount of cooperation, it will shatter into nothing but rubble.

TS In “The Tempest”, the island that all the characters inhabit makes a drastic change from a rancorous (SAT Word) prison to a benevolent (SAT Word) sanctuary. SD When first introduced to the isle and those who are stranded on it, we are given the impression that this small strip of land in the middle of the ocean is nothing but an open jail cell. CM Prospero and his daughter, Miranda, are confined to this island along with Caliban, and their only goal is to get off, without the thought of taking this time of isolation to refine themselves as people and rebuild the tarnished relations they now hold with others. (Loose sentence) CM But as time passes and more people are banished to the island, all the characters restore their broken bonds, create new ones and eventually make the isle into a “brave new world”. SD One way in which the island makes the transformation into a new realm of kindness and joy is the love that Miranda and Ferdinand find in each other. CM The two young souls find this passion for each other and because of it they are overwhelmed with this new feeling of unimaginable bliss. CM This love also infects the other characters, making them believe in this magical concept that they may have lost sight of in the past. SD Another way the island transforms from a secluded area of hate to a united area of contentment is Prospero’s overall metamorphosis. CM Prospero was originally the first one to be trapped on this island and essentially controlled it, so his change from one person to another really impacted the island and all its inhabitants. CM One way he changed was that he gave up his helpful, but evil magical powers and decided even if it wasn’t easier, it was better to rely on “what strength I […] own.” CM3 Another reason Prospero changed himself and the island for the better is when he forgave his brother, Antonio, for all his wrongdoings, which lifted this symbolic weight of spite off of Prospero’s shoulders, letting him live normally again. CS In the end, the island in which all of those characters were stranded on made a significant transformation from a hateful prison to an isle of happiness, but none of that could’ve happened if it wasn’t for each person who contributed to this desired evolution.

TS From providing food and shelter to electing a government, building a successful civilization takes work. (Periodic Sentence) SD To make a society as peaceful as the one in “The Tempest”, you need a few specific attributes acting as glue to hold the community together. CM One important virtue you need is acceptance. CM When having every person belonging to this society accept a variety of people, it creates peace among the diversity and prevents conflict regarding intolerance caused by prejudice to break out. SD Another attribute of a cordial civilization would be moderation. CM If the people of the society lived in moderation and knew their limits when it came to not only wealth, but other necessities that some indulge themselves in, they could live comfortably without feeling guilty of their fortune. CM This moderation would also open a door to generosity and let those who do have too much of something, give it to those who don’t have any. SD The final piece of the society puzzle would be unity. CM A successful community is nothing without the unity of its members. CM The whole point of a society is to interact with and learn from the other inhabitants and use those relationships to work together to build a better community. CM3 The concept of unity also erases any chance of the society becoming conflicted because the people are living compatibly, as opposed to on one’s own initiative. CS Building a successful society requires more than just some friendly inhabitants and a few houses. CS2 It takes effort and perseverance (SAT Word) not only to physically build the civilization, but also to create the withstanding relationships the people need to have in order to work well together.

Love, forgiveness and the discovery of humanity are just a few of the things that turned the island in “The Tempest” into a “brave new world”. To build a successful society, you need virtues such as those, along with others like acceptance, moderation and unity. With the help of those necessary attributes, any country, state, city or even island can be made into a place of wonderment and peace.

Timmy's Essay 14

Timmy O’Brien
Mr. Salsich
English 9
24 February 2009

Brave New Worlds:

An Essay on the changes in “The Tempest” and our World

        There are many dreadful things happening in the world today. People are hated for their beliefs, others are killed for the same reason, and others still live in fear that someone will find them and kill them or worse. Oppositely, other worlds have been changed for the better, such as the island in “The Tempest”. Many things have changed for the better to allow the isle to attain such happiness, and if we were to change our world in similar ways, we would need to live by at least three principal virtues.
        On page 93, Miranda says that she lives in a “brave new world”, but what has caused this change to happen upon the isle? First, Prospero finally forgave everyone who wronged him. Mainly, Prospero realized that to have anger festering inside him for 12 years wasn’t a good thing. He forgave “the rankest fault” of his brother - stealing his dukedom from him [loose sentence and appositive]. Also, Caliban realized that he didn’t have to follow anyone anymore. He was a slave of Prospero for a long while, and then he met Stephano, who gave him some “celestial ale”. Caliban was entranced and emulated [SAT word] Stephano thinking he was a god, but he gave that up in search of his own self. Finally, Miranda and Ferdinand are going to get married. They have only met three hours before, but they fell madly in love. She sees the world they live in as “brave” and “new” because she finally found someone besides her father that she loves and wants to start her “new” life with. This whole play is about new beginnings, which only leads to a whole new world.

        If we were to make our world “brave” and “new”, we would have to change a few things and take at least three virtues to heart. First, we would have to learn to accept. Without this specific trait, people won’t be able to be themselves and act the way they want to. If they have to hide themselves and try to remain anonymous [SAT word], they can’t help everyone around them be better. Second, we must all learn to forgive for past experiences. Without entering this state of reconciliation [SAT word], we will be unable to work with one another to create our “brave new world”. We must learn that vengeance is never a good thing, and forgiveness is the only way to live life to the fullest. Finally, we must learn to persevere. Unfinished plans, turmoil, and utter uselessness will break out if we cannot follow through [periodic sentence]. We must stay motivated and work towards common and achievable goals. Even though there are many more virtues to follow, this new world would be full of possibilities and happiness.
        In the end, if people tweak a few things in the way they live, the consequences can be enormous. They can be as simple forgiving a deceitful brother or accepting someone for who they are. It could be realizing the alcohol should not be worshipped as a god or learning how to complete a goal. Either way, you must leave your past behind, look towards the future, and reach for the stars.

Lydia's Essay 14

Lydia Schulz
Mr. H. Salsich
9 English
February 26, 2009

One World:

An Essay on Virtues and Our Brave New World

        We all wish that one day, our world could be a cooperative, peaceful planet. We all wish that one day, the world’s leaders would decide that all of their wars have been fought. We all wish that one day, everyone would lay down their weapons and erase all hate and violence. Though the characters in “The Tempest” found this peace, the people of this world still have a long way to go until we reach this total cooperation.

        Though they went through strife and fighting throughout the play, the characters in “The Tempest” finally reconcile their differences and learn to live together peacefully. One of the most important factors in this settlement was Prospero forgiving his brother, Antonio. Ariel was the one who convinced Prospero to forgive his brother, telling him that he should take pity on his brother (Participle phrase/Loose sentence). Referring to his feelings becoming tender if he beheld Antonio and his crew, Ariel says, “Mine would, sir, were I human.” (Quote) Another key part of the reconciliation (FAST/SAT) was Miranda marrying Ferdinand. This brought the two parties together. Ferdinand and Miranda’s love for each other seemed to calm the waters between the enemies and made them realize that though they hate each other, they are still family. And of course, Caliban drops his cold demeanor and decides to seek forgiveness for his wrongdoings. He realizes that alcohol does not help him and he would do better to forget it. When Prospero frees him, he wants to “seek for grace” (Quote) and become less bitter. After all this, we can assume that the characters realized that it is sometimes better to forget about the bad deeds that have been done and instead try to start over.
        If we want our world to become a brave new world, we need to make some changes and follow three key virtues. The first is acceptance. If we are ever going to improve the world we live in, we need to learn to accept other people, opinions, and ideas (Periodic sentence). We are all unique, and we need to accept that we all have different ideas and outlooks that, if combined in the right way, can help us to make new discoveries and help us to collaborate (FAST/SAT)(purposeful repetition). In addition, we will need to be purposeful in our work. It is great to discuss possibilities, but putting them to action is another matter. If we want to make changes, we have to set our minds to the task at hand and work with diligence (FAST/SAT). Finally, if we are to advance and become a better, more peaceful world, we can never lose our wonder. Important discoveries are made by the people who dare to ask “what if,” and we can never lose this quality. If we did not want to learn, our society would crumble. Our world will never be perfect, but if we work together, we can come close.
         Everyone knows that there are problems in this world. There always have been and, though it pains me to say it, there probably always will be. However, this is not to say that our planet is doomed to continue in a downward spiral until the bitter end. Everyone can do something to help pick up the pieces, and if we all pitch in, we can make a tremendous impact.

Timmy's Essay 13

Timmy O’Brien
Mr. Salsich
English 9
17 February 2009

Music in Many:

An Essay on Music in my Life and Caliban’s

        1. Everyone in this world is different. 2. They look different and have different likes and dislikes, but most of them share one thing – a love of music. 3. Most everyone in the world from China to the United States has an interest in music of some sort. 4. This curiosity occurs in people such as myself, and other fictitious characters such as Caliban in “The Tempest”.
        TS A seemingly shapeless and monstrous man, Caliban can be changed by the simplest of things – music [appositive as sentence opener]. SD These magical “sounds and sweet airs” change Caliban’s whole outlook on life. CM He is usually angry with Prospero for making his life terrible, but music lets him feel happier. CM He fears nothing, and is able to live in a state of pure bliss for a little bit. SD The music also lets Caliban dream [short sentence amid longer ones]. CM In a literal sense, sometimes when he hears the music, he falls asleep and dreams. CM Figuratively, he dreams of what he can accomplish, and he imagines “riches” falling onto him, making him wealthy. SD Finally, Caliban is able to turn a terrible situation of servitude around with the benefit of music. CM The “thousand twangling instruments” he hears “give [him] delight and hurt [him] not”. CM On that island, those jingles are his only friends. CS Those splendid sounds are the only things that make him feel that life is even remotely worth living.
        TS For me, music is a very important part of life. SD The sounds I hear can determine the way I feel. CM If I’m listening to a particularly upbeat song, my mood can be lifted. CM I can go from cheerless to cheerful in seconds if the right song is playing. SD Alternatively, my mood can change the other way around. CM This happens less frequently, but sometimes if I play a really depressing song, I can start to feel a bit gloomier [compound-complex sentence]. CM The music can have a numbing effect that makes me feel worse. SD Along with changing my mood, music can let me drift away from reality. CM In some songs, the lyrics mean a lot to me personally, so I can get lost in them. CM I am able to focus on nothing for a little while and leave my troubles behind. CS At some times, music redefines my life and lets me make it what I want it to be.
        1. Music has a lot to do with both real and fictional lives. 2. With Caliban, it changes his personality to make him fearless and happy. 3. Music provides me with happiness, with sorrow, and with the ability to be free [three consecutive prepositional phrases]. 4. In the end, music can be portrayed as the definition of life because it is the only thing keeping some, like Caliban, alive.

Lydia's Essay 13

Lydia Schulz

Mr. H. Salsich

9 English

18 February 2009

We're All Affected:

An Essay on the Affects of Music On Caliban and Myself

  

      1: Throughout history, music has been an art form used universally as a form of expression. 2: Though the styles and genres of music have changed over the years, the purpose of this art form has remained the same. 3: Almost anyone may tell you that they love music, but when you ask what about it affects them, they may not have an answer. 4: The truth is that though we all love music, it is not often that we think about what particularly affects us. 5: The sounds of music can change almost anyone, including me, or even a creature such as William Shakespeare’s Caliban.
        TS: Though music has an affect on most of us, this was particularly pronounced in Caliban. SD: The music seems to change Caliban’s entire perspective. CM: Usually, he is angry and cold, but when he hears the music, his cruel demeanor melts away. CM: Something about the “twangling instruments” makes him forget everything bad in his life. SD: When Caliban hears music, it puts him to sleep and makes him dream extraordinary dreams. CM: He thinks that the skies were dropping riches upon him, all because of the music surrounding him. CM: When he finally awakens, he “crie[s] to dream again.” SD: This all goes to show that even a bad person can be transformed by something as powerful as music. CM: As the notes wash over him, Caliban, usually so cold and cruel, suddenly becomes thoughtful and kind (Appositive S-V split). CM: Whatever it is about the music that affects him, Caliban is an entirely different person when he hears the “sweet airs.” CS: No one would ever know that something as simple as music could make someone like Caliban so sensitive and considerate.
        TS: Like most people, music has an enormous affect on me. SD: Hearing a certain song can instantly change my mood, possibly sending my emotions in an entirely different direction. CM: When I am feeling sad, I listen to something upbeat to excite me, or to a mellower tune which can help me to unwind and relax. CM: The beats and notes dive inside me and bring me alive (Short sentence in the midst of long ones). SD: In contrast, I often find that instead of the music affecting my mood, my mood affects my music (Chiasmus). CM: If I am feeling energetic or excited, I may listen to someone such as Billy Joel or The Format, whereas if I feel calm, I would probably put on Joshua Radin or Dispatch. CM: It is usually easy to tell how I am feeling based on the music I am listening to. SD: Like Caliban, music can put me to sleep. CM: After a long day, I often lie down on my bed, put on my sleep playlist, and close my eyes, letting the music surround me. CM: Try as I might to stay awake, the soothing melodies lull me into a contented slumber, and everything around me seems to give way to the music (Compound-complex sentence). CS: Inside my mind, in the music itself, and all around me, the music becomes my refuge (Parallel prepositional phrases).
        1:For me, music is everywhere. 2:Even if I am not listening to a song, I may have one in my head, or I might be listening to my footsteps as they tap out a beat, the foundation of a new song. 3: It holds so many memories, such as a funny moment you had with a friend while listening to a certain song, or that one summer when that certain song was playing on the radio constantly. 4: Though we all have unique tastes in music, when a beautiful song starts to play, everyone in the room knows it, and for a few minutes, we all have an unspoken connection in our souls.

Sarah's Essay Number 12

Sarah Shourds

English 09

Hamilton Salsich

February 17 2009


An Indescribable Passion:
An Essay on Music

Living without music would be like living without a family- you would have no way to unleash your dreams and no way of letting out your emotions. Although many people see music to be loud noises that teenagers like to listen to very loudly, music is a sensation that is indescribable. Caliban, a monstrous creature that lurks on the island with no destiny and is always being watched, sees music as "sweet airs" and thinks of it as a place to hide from all of it. Music can help mask your feelings and help you escape, and Caliban and I use music throughout our daily lives.

TS Being enclosed on an island surrounded by a vast sea makes Caliban crazy, and there is only one thing that can take his mind off of everything- "the sounds and sweet airs" that also surround him on the island. SD In this small yet deep passage, we learn that this creature, who was once labeled as a selfish, inconsiderate monster, actually has emotions. CM We learn that when he listens to music, he feels as if " a thousand twangling instruments [...] hum about [his] ears". CM We learn that this so-called "monster" truly has a passion for music, and that music lets him dream his harsh nights away. SD You would assume that Caliban has no dreams or passion of any sort, but if you look deeper, he most certainly does. CM His passion is let out through the soft tunes of music [Short Sentence]. CM With the simple tap of a drum, or simple tune flowing out of ones lips, Caliban can erase the harsh words thrust upon him, and dream he's living in success and has all of the riches. SD Caliban is still confined, but in this sense, it's not bad. CM Whether the music is natural or not, it imprisons him in a dream, and when he wakes, he "crie[s] to dream again" [Compound Complex]. CM Caliban has lived in a life full of hate and dishonesty, and is constantly worrying about his reputation his parents had thrown onto him. CS Music is an unknown sensation to Caliban, and when he hears any sort of rhythm, he's taken into a whole other world.

TS As a free spirited and diligent girl, I would not like put myself in Caliban's shoes- I would like to be as free as a song [Appositive]. SD As much as I would hate to be secluded on an abandoned island and be so bottled up with emotions like Caliban, we both share some qualities. CM First of all, both Caliban and I listen to music to let our soul wander free, and let our mind dream to its full potential. CM When I listen to music, may it be natural or may it be some pop star rambling on the radio, it releases my emotions and makes me feel as if I'm on a cloud. SD I also use music as an escape from the real world. CM Listening to one loud song can help peel away my sorrows and help me feel better, whereas listening to an up-beat song can make me dance, and can turn any of my moods up-side-down. CM When I listen to any song that has a catchy tune or jumpy melody, I feel as free as a song. CM Almost like I could do anything [Short Sentence]. SD If there was no music in the world, no one would be able to survive. CM Music is played all around the world, and can bring many different cultures together; there are many types and many styles that are played throughout the entire world [Compound Complex]. CS Music sets us free, brings us joy and lets us dream a new tomorrow, and no one could live without it [Parallel Preposition].

No matter what music may sound like, it sets off a little sense of freedom in everybody. Like Caliban, I have a passion for music and when I hear the "twangling instruments" or " [a] hum about [my] ears," I can't help but dance and feel overjoyed. A person, such as Caliban, may come off as a heartless and selfish person that has no dreams or passions under his/her belt, but little may you know, that person may have a passion for music. A passion for freedom, a passion for uniqueness and a passion for themselves.

Sarah's Essay Number 12

TS Being enclosed on an island surrounded by a vast sea makes Caliban crazy, and there is only one thing that can take his mind off of everything- "the sounds and sweet airs" that also surround him on the island. SD In this small yet deep passage, we learn that this creature, who was once labeled as a selfish, inconsiterat monster, actually has emotions. CM We learn that when he listens to music, he feels as if " a thousand twangling instruments [...] hum about [his] ears". CM We learn that this so-called "monster" truly has a passion for music, and that music lets him dream his harsh nights away. SD You would assume that Caliban has no dreams or passion of any sort, but if you look deeper, he most certainly does. CM His passion is let out through the soft tunes of music [Short Sentence]. CM With the simple tap of a drum, or simple tune flowing out of ones lips, Caliban can erase the harsh words thrust upon him, and dream he's living in success and has all of the riches. SD Caliban is still confined, but in this sense, it's not bad. CM Whether the music is natural or not, it imprisons him in a dream, and when he wakes, he "crie[s] to dream again" [Compound Complex]. CM Caliban has lived in a life full of hate and dishonesty, and is constantly worrying about his reputation his parents had thrown onto him. CS Music is an unknown sensation to Caliban, and when he hears any sort of rhythym, he's taken into a whole other world.

Sarah's Essay Number 12

TS Being enclosed on an island surrounded by a vast sea makes Caliban crazy, and there is only one thing that can take his mind off of everything- "the sounds and sweet airs" that also surround him on the island. SD In this small yet deep passage, we learn that this creature, who was once labeled as a selfish, inconsiterat monster, actually has emotions. CM We learn that when he listens to music, he feels as if " a thousand twangling instruments [...] hum about [his] ears". CM We learn that this so-called "monster" truly has a passion for music, and that music lets him dream his harsh nights away. SD You would assume that Caliban has no dreams or passion of any sort, but if you look deeper, he most certainly does. CM His passion is let out through the soft tunes of music [Short Sentence]. CM With the simple tap of a drum, or simple tune flowing out of ones lips, Caliban can erase the harsh words thrust upon him, and dream he's living in success and has all of the riches. SD Caliban is still confined, but in this sense, it's not bad. CM Whether the music is natural or not, it imprisons him in a dream, and when he wakes, he "crie[s] to dream again" [Compound Complex]. CM Caliban has lived in a life full of hate and dishonesty, and is constantly worrying about his reputation his parents had thrown onto him. CS Music is an unknown sensation to Caliban, and when he hears any sort of rhythym, he's taken into a whole other world.

Ceilie's Essay #13

Ceilie Moore
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 23rd, 2009

Music’s Subtle Influence:

An Essay on the Way Music Affects People

1. Music is everywhere. 2. It’s in the streets as the taxi cabs honk in a harmonious rhythm, it appears after sunrise as the morning birds welcome the new day in a chorus of chirps, and it lurks underneath the ocean’s waves as the marine creatures dance and sing in their aquatic habitat. (Three consecutive prepositional phrases) 3. Music hums in our ears every day and whether we realize it or not, it affects the way we act and feel. 4. These melodic symphonies can affect anyone at any time, even a haggard monster such as Caliban in William Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”

TS Imprisoned on this secluded island, a creature as dark and cruel as Caliban should be hateful of all beings and things. (Appositive noun) SD You would assume he has no passion, no drive that keeps him going, but in fact he does. CM This passion is ordinary, found in anyone from average pedestrian to a famed celebrity. CM He has this hidden intrigue with music and all its components, along with the ecstasy it gives him to hear the sweet note of his favorite piece. SD Music affects Caliban in multiple ways and these effects give way to let us see the true human that is under his dark layer of ghastliness. CM One way music affects Caliban is that it gives him a sense of sheer tranquility. (Short sentence) CM “[The sound of] twangling instruments will hum about [my] ear [s], and […] make me sleep”, states Caliban. CM3 By this, Caliban means that as he listens to his music, he is in such a peaceful mindset that he often falls asleep. SD Another more important affect music has on Caliban is that it takes him into this dream world that he yearns to live in. CM Caliban says, “In dreaming the clouds methought would open and show riches ready to drop upon me”. CM Caliban has lived a horrible life since the day he was born, trapped on this island and carrying around the reputation that his malicious parents gave him. CM3 But with the chime of an instrument and hum of a voice, Caliban gets to erase all the wrongs in his life and drown them out with dreams of wealth, success and love. CS Caliban is seen as this horrible creature that lurks around the island, sulking and sinning his way through life, but what we don’t see is the serene Caliban, who only needs a song to become the inspired human that he is.

TS Music is one of the most ambiguous elements in the world. SD Depending on the style and the person listening to it, music can affect different people in different ways. CM A sweet melody of an old song one once freely danced to can bring an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia to the listener. CM The listener could also be dealing with a personal problem and use music as a vent; they could both listen to a song that relates to their tough situation or even write their own tune that expresses their inner pain. (Compound-complex sentence) SD Music has many effects on me, but in the end, the strength or meaning of the song mixed with my current state of mind determines the overall impact it has on me. CM For example, if I am listening to a hushed melody with soothing lyrics, I, much like Caliban, fall into a state of serenity. CM Or if I am feeling sad or enraged, I don’t turn on an upbeat ditty that masks all my problems, but a sorrowful or angry song that has lyrics that relate to my current emotions. SD The other way music affects me that it gives me motivation to change something, whether it is someone else’s life or my own, I feel inspired. CM The song can be about something as personal as the singer’s experience as a young child growing up on the wrong side of the tracks and making it to stardom, or a topic as reoccurring and immense as solving world hunger. CM Whichever sad story the musician chooses to tell through their song, the underlying message sinks into my brain and keeps me constantly thinking about how lucky I am to be living the way I do and how I should use my fortune to help those who aren’t as blessed. CS Music has this power to elevate my mood, simmer it down and match it perfectly, but as it does this, it also subconsciously gives me this glint of inspiration to help someone or something in need.

1. Music is a universal interest that comes in a variety of tempos, tones and purpose. 2. Music is sad, it is joyful, it is evocative, it is powerful. 3. It has the strength to tear one’s eyes and the words to put one’s anxiety to sleep. 4. With every note, strum, syllable and chord, music affects us in ways any other element of life cannot.

Timmy's Essay 12

Timmy O’Brien
Mr. Salsich
English 9
3 February 2009

My Cell Desires and Free Analogies:

An Essay on Imprisonment and Freedom

        Imagine you are stuck in a holding of some sort, and you cannot leave. All you can do is sit, wait, and hope [3-action verb] to be rescued. As you sit around all day with nothing to do, your mind may begin to wander. If I were in that situation, I would think about the things I could see to make me feel a bit happier and what it would be like to be free again.
        If I were imprisoned for a long while inside of a dark, dank [FAST] cell, there would be two things I would like to see the most every day. First, I would love to have one daily view of the sun. Even while I was trapped inside a cell in the dark, I would be comforted by that one ray of sunlight that would bless my life for just a couple of minutes each day. It would let me know that no matter what happens, there is still a world out there – a world that I could still hope to return to. The other thing I would yearn [FAST] to see would be my family and friends. If I could just see them for a couple of minutes every day, I would know that they were all right. This thought would give me comfort and allow me to live a better life, if possible, inside my holding cell. These two views may not seem like much, but they are the bare minimum of sights that I would be able to live with.
        While inside that cell, I would think of freedom as a bald eagle. Freedom is like a bald eagle because it can rule the skies like no other. It is never hunted, for it is always the hunter. It is able to live with no fears, no rules, and no problems [tricolon], which is probably the ultimate goal of freedom. This eagle also relates to freedom because it is able to fly in the sky. Nothing can weigh it down because the air - its natural element - is weightless [s-v split participle phrase]. It just soars of its own accord, happy to be free and free to be happy [chiasmus]. A bald eagle is the epitome of freedom because it is able to live without boundaries or cautions.
        Freedom is relative. If I were an eagle soaring freely in the skies who was one day magically changed into an American person, how free would I feel? The human part would have a free America to live in, but the bird part would still wish to patrol the skies. People may think they are free, but are they really trapped in a cell called land, with no way of knowing how to truly be free, to be liberated, or to be happy [tricolon]?

Lydia's Essay 12

Lydia Schulz
Mr. H. Salsich
English 9
February 2, 2009

Are We Ever Free?
An Essay on Imprisonment and Freedom

        Freedom is a beautiful thing, but because we live in a country where our rights are recognized and respected, we do not always appreciate these privileges. If we are honest with ourselves, we will probably find that not even once a day do we think to ourselves, “How fortunate I am to be living the life I am living.” We do not stop to think about the people around the world suffering, struggling, fighting for their freedom (tricolon). We do not think about all the people, places, and sights we will miss, and what it truly means to be free.
        If I was imprisoned and was only allowed to choose a few views or people I could look upon everyday, I would want to see the sights that are most comforting to me. If I could look out the window and see any vista, I would see the view from the window in my bedroom. When I look out this window I can see into my neighbors’ yards and the backs of their houses, and because my bed sits next to this window, it is something I see everyday. Though it may seem like a simple, boring sight, this is a comforting view for me and it would let me know that something was still the same. However, when it comes to people I would like to see, I don’t think I could ever choose just one or two people. There are so many people I would want to see everyday that I don’t see how I would be able to do it, especially if I could only see one person. My friends and family would have to go on some sort of rotation so I could have face time with each of them, even if it was only once in a while. Some would think that seeing all the people you love might make you feel even more dejected (FAST) because you are unable share in their freedom, but for me it would be a treat just to see them, even if I couldn’t be free with them. As we all know, there are some people and sights that it are difficult to live without.
        To me, freedom is like the sky: bright, boundless, full of possibility (tricolon). The sky is limitless, stretching on forever (participle phrase). On land, formations such as mountains, oceans, and cliffs can hinder your journey from one point to another, but up in the sky, nothing stands in your way. The sky, so wide and full of open space (SV split), is similar to freedom as a bird is to the free person: an endless space free from the confinement of rules and stipulations (FAST). There are no people or forces to restrict you from soaring towards your goals. Yet even something as huge and awesome as the sky can be thwarted, just as freedom can quickly come to an end. A rain cloud can interrupt the seemingly infinite reaches of the sky, hindering your path through the air. You can feel free and unstoppable, but there is usually someone superior to you who can take all of this away in the blink of an eye. Because of this, we should always appreciate our freedom and recognize those without these privileges.
        Can we ever truly be free? Will there always be someone hovering above us, waiting to snatch away everything we have worked for? These are the questions I find myself asking as I contemplate the meaning of freedom. If the answer to these inquiries is yes, then we must take full advantage of the freedom we have, because we never know when it may all be taken away.

Ceilie's Essay #12

Ceilie Moore
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 5th, 2009

Views From Prison and Metaphors Of Freedom:

An Essay On Imprisonment and Freedom

Imprisonment and freedom are polar opposites. Being imprisoned gives you nothing to work with but cement walls that are incapable of being opened or closed, letting nothing in or out. Freedom is acting in a wonderfully careless manner, being negligent to the idea of hitting a boundary that can deprive you of your liberty. They are two strong feelings that can both strongly affect the way one lives.

TS If I was imprisoned and given only one sight to longingly gaze (FAST) at as I wished for freedom, I would want to look at the ocean. SD Unlike most, I wouldn’t want the luxury of looking at my friends or family and observe them as they lived their lives freely. CM Watching them live without boundaries as strict as mine would only provide me with envy and give me more hopeless determination to break free of my shackles and join them. CM I would hate knowing that the barrier of punishment or disease would be the only thing separating me from being by their sides. SD I would want to be able to look at the ocean because it would not only give me a beautiful view but also supply me with a symbolic friend. CM The soft hum of the waves could comfort me in times of pain or remorse and give me the illusions that I am somewhere besides a prison cell that is limiting me from what I want to do. CM The ocean is also a place where thousands of my memories have been made. CM3 Although remembering such happy times may make me sad in the sense that I will never relive those moments again, I still get the pleasure of remembering being a careless eight year-old practicing cartwheels and building sandcastles as the shore tickled my tanned feet. CM4 From these memories, I get the chance to smile as I reminisce (FAST) the days I spent lounging aside the beach and living my life happily instead of worrying about being confined in a cell of sadness. CS Looking out on the views of carefree people living without restrictions would only pain my heart, but being next to the place where I have spent endless summers making sweet memories will provide a spiritual friend and many moments to happily reflect back on.

TS Freedom is running without hitting a fence, jumping without gravity pulling you down, and swimming beyond the point in which your toes are numb and legs don’t feel the sensation of movement. SD Although, freedom can not only be described by actions, but by a person, an artist sitting in front of their blank canvas. CM Artists are given a palette that can be limited to only black and white, or more colors than the rainbow can physically contain. CM They can choose their medium, their choice of canvas, and their inspiration for the piece. (Tri-colon) SD When running, jumping or swimming, there is always one small variable holding you back and setting a limitation on what you can do. CM An artist’s boundary is the edge of their canvas. CM Where the edges lie, sits an invisible wall that surrounding the area that an artist may use to express their creativity. CS Freedom is the feeling of infinite ideas, actions and emotions (tri-colon) that give this ecstasy-like side effect, and an artist sitting in front of a blank canvas experiences every ounce of freedom that one can endure.

People face imprisonment and freedom every day. Those young soldiers going off to war are trapped in their camouflaged suits and the gun strapped to their chests, only focused on surviving the minefield they’re about to run across. The young and innocent are free of life’s heavy topics and time consuming obligations, only focused on skipping throughout the playground without scrapping their knee, and even if they do, a Band-Aid can easily fix it. Freedom and imprisonment can decorate and bring excitement to our lives, like an artist brings a painting to life, or unexpectedly strike them, and if by chance they do, we can only be so lucky to see an ocean from our prison cell.

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Self-Assessment

What Am I Most Proud Of In This Essay?

I am proud of the introductory paragraph. I have a tendency to ramble with sentences and I think I kept it simple, starting off with a blunt statement and then slowly elaborating but in decent length sentences. 

What Was The Hardest Part Of This Assignment?

I think the hardest part of this assignment was elaborating on the second body paragraph. When writing the idea map for it, I was very worried that I wouldn't be able to make two, good-sized chunks about the one topic, but it all worked out in the end. 

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Graphic Organizer
Topic: Views from Imprisonment
SD: I wouldn’t want to see people
CM: I would be jealous of them and their freedom
CM: I wouldn’t want to see them be free and know only a small wall is separating us


Topic: Freedom is…
SD Freedom is like an artist
CM They are given a palette and do what they want
CM The colors are their decision, the background, the medium, etc.
SD They only have one boundary
CM Their boundary is the edges of the paper
CM It is a fence around where they can express their creativity