English 09
Hamilton Salsich
12 November 08
A Journey Called Life:
A Look an Essay
1. Who are the Kiowa? 2. The Kiowa are a Native American tribe, which the author of the essay "The Way to Rainy Mountain", Navarre Scott Momaday was apart of. 3. In this essay there is one main theme- his life-long journey. 4. This essay also talks about his grandmother and how she impacted his life-long journey.
TS In the essay, "The Way to Rainy Mountain", by N. Scott Momaday, Momaday talks about one key theme- his journey through life, and how his grandmother helped him through the journey. SD His grandmother played a big role in his tribe, the Kiowa, and in his life-long journey. CM She told the story of the "Seven Sisters", which then led the tribe to believe in the myth, and she taught him his culture. CM He would watch her pray, vaguely knowing what she is saying by her tone of voice. SD She had also taught him to look at the world in a new perspective. CM He would "lay down with [his] grandmother and [...] hear the frogs away by the river and feel the motion of the air" [Momaday 318]. CM She taught him to slow down and look at the phenomenal [FAST] nature that surrounded him. SD These few things his grandmother taught him would influence his long and strenuous journey called life. CM Being able to relate back to your own culture and heritage is a value most people lack now-a-days. CM Momaday, thanks to his grandmother, can relate to his culture and even tell the stories from her, and pass them on to his grandchildren. CM Being able to slow down and look at the marvelous world is another thing we American's tend to lack now-a-days. CS Momaday's grandmother enriched [FAST] him in the basic teachings of life, led him through his journey, and loved him fondly. [Three Action Verb]
1. Whether your Native American, White, Asian or other ethnicities, everyone will have to overcome the wearisome journey most call life. 2. Momaday skimmed through his journey, with the simple teachings from his grandmother. 3. Instead of looking at the moon, he looks at the "perched cricket upon the handrail" [Momaday 318]. 4. This theme is a very big picture most people forget about, and step all over, but Momaday's grandmother had taught him better. 5. "The Earth unfolds and [there is no] limit." [Momaday 315]
1 comment:
Sarah ...
It's not necessary to repeat the title and author in the body paragraph. Remember to use repetition only for a specific purpose and when it really helps the writing. (The TS almost exactly repeats what's in the first paragraph, which is not necessary.)
The second CM in the first chunk doesn't seem to directly relate to its SD. I hope you see what I mean.
THE SECOND CHUNK IS EXCELLENT.
The first CM in the final chunk also doesn't seem to directly tie in with its SD.
"Momaday's grandmother enriched [FAST] him in the basic teachings of life, led him through his journey, and loved him fondly. [Three Action Verb]" << BEAUTIFUL!!
Last par: "your" should be "you're" ... and it's not totally clear how the final quote fits in to the paragraph.
SARAH, DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. I love the way you write. For a high school honors course, this is not a bad grade for a one-night essay.
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