Sarah Shourds
Hamilton Salsich
English 9
23 October 2008
Childhood Dreams
An Essay on Appreciation
To appreciate and to love are two different things. In the essay,
"How it Feels To Be Colored Me" by Zora Neale Hurston, there were
many things Hurston appreciated, such as her ancestors and her skin
color. In my own life there are things I appreciate such as my family,
my passion towards things and how I stand out from others
[Purposeful Repetition]. Both of us appreciate our ancestors, and like
who we are as a person and I don't think that will ever change.
TS Zora Neale Hurston appreciates her skin tone, her ancestors
and herself, and doesn't let the thoughts of others bring her down
[Purposeful Repetition of Her]. SD Hurston appreciates many things
in life, but one key element that helps her move on, is her
appreciation of her skin color. CM She appreciates the fact that she
is different from some people, and "[has] no race". CM This helped her
move through life, helped her ignore the rude comments, and helped
her be a better person by letting it go and not judging people by their
outer appearance but what's on the inside [Purposeful Repetition].
SD "But [she] isn't tragically colored," or dissapointed by her outer
appearance, she "does not mind at all". CM She thinks that everyone
should be looked upon as a blank canvas, and as they go on through
life, little by little their canvas will be drawn in with all sorts of things.
CM She thinks that everyone should stop worrying about their outer
appearance and start worrying about drawing on their canvas, or
living life. SD Lastly, Hurston treasures [FAST] herself. She has been
through a lot and learned to truly appreciate herself throughout her
childhood. CM When she moved to Jacksonville, and she "was not
Zora from Orange County anymore, [but] now a little colored girl,"
she learned that loving herself in any way possible was the best way
to get through the big change. CM One way of loving herself was to
simply ignore anyone's comments, and to just think of herself as the
one-and-only Zora. CS Hurston is an incredible woman and
appreciates many key factors that Americans tend to forget in life- to
love, and appreciate yourself.
TS After reading her essay I thought "what do I appreciate
about myself?" and many attributes [FAST] came to mind. SD The
first quality I truly admire about myself is what sets me apart from
others. CM I know I can be loud, I dress weird and I may not have
the best sense of humor, but those qualities alone help me stand out
of a crowd. CM I have a great appreciation for those several
attributes, because I know that no one else can stand up to them,
or do them as easily as I. SD Another aspect of myself that I
appreciate is the passion I put in towards things I love. CM For
example, I love modeling. CM Having such a strong passion for
this career has helped me move towards that childhood dream, which
I am now pursuing. CM If I didn't have such a strong passion for this
career, and I just let it go, I don't think I'd be where I am now. SD
Lastly, the most important thing I appreciate about myself, is pretty
much my family. CM They have gotten me to where I am today by
teaching me right from wrong, and by supporting me. CM They have
abided [FAST] by all of my busy schedules, and I know they will
always be by my side no matter what. CS I appreciate every
moment of my life, and thanks to all of these fine attributes and
family members, I even appreciate myself.
Zora Neale Hurston and I have a lot in common- we both
appreciate ourselves. No matter how conceited it may sound,
appreciating yourself can get you far in life if you just take it one
step at a time. Hurston learned to appreciate herself and she sets
a good example. Appreciating myself has got me to fulfill a
childhood dream, where can it lead you?
3 comments:
Sarah-
I really liked your essay. Your first sentence was very hooking and a great way to start off this piece. I do however have a few suggestions. One would be that when you use "swiftly" in your first SD, it sounds a little awkward. Also, the introductary paragraph seems a bit repetitive when you're talking about what you and Zora Neale Hurston have in common. Overall, it was a really great essay and with just a little polishing, it will be perfect.
Sarah, fantastic essay. You did a great job giving specific examples from the reading, so the reader really knows what your talking about. A suggestion of mine would be to check the punctuation in the 4th sentence of the opening paragraph because the comma should be moved. Another thing is that your second purposeful repetition seems a bit too purposeful, and the multiple verbs seem to clutter the sentence. I think that if you took them out, you could really tighten the writing. Despite my suggestions, I think that your essay was quite good.
Sarah-
great job with your essay. you did a good job fitting everything under your "umbrella" and i really liked the sentence about people being looked upon as a blank canvas. however, you may want to combine and expand some of your sentences in the opening paragraph because it seems a little redundant. also, you could probably find a better word with a thesaurus instead of your fast word "values." other than that, i think you wrote a great essay
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